Fool of a Took
by JoeyBear1424
Summary: Really the only person at fault was her. She for falling in love so freely with a dwarrowdam who wanted nothing to do with her and probably moved on by now. While she was laid up in bed with swollen ankles and an aching heart that wouldn't cease. Fem!Bilbo. Fem!Dori. Part of Afternoon Tea but can be read as a standalone. Contains fpreg.


"I'm a fool of a Took." Bella announces over tea. Arwen gazes at her with sharp blue eyes, her head cocked thoughtfully.

"Why do you say that?" Bella sighs and pushes her full teacup away, lacing her fingers together over her swollen stomach.

"To believe a dwarrowdam could ever love me. She sent me away and without so much as a goodbye. Her king threatens to kill me and she stands by. Her brothers just watch. One holds a knife to my throat and she just." Bella's voice wobbles and Arwen comes to kneel beside her, resting a hand on her stomach.

"Breathe." She whispers and Bella takes a shaky breath.

"And I'm carrying her child. I didn't even know that one was possible. Oh, my father's probably rolling over in his grave." Arwen's smile is gentle as she stands Bella up, her hands resting on her stomach.

"Would you like to take a walk in the gardens? That always makes you feel better." Bella shakes her head.

"I think I'd like to just lie down." Bella sighs and links her fingers through Arwen's. She could practically hear her father rolling over his grave right now. Was it another situation she might have found it amusing. But she was finding this situation hard to laugh at. Bella was pregnant with a child she wasn't even sure she wanted. The pregnancy was most likely the result of the fairy blood in her Elrond had said. Bella didn't care about that relative. Really the only person at fault was her. She for falling in love so freely with a dwarrowdam who wanted nothing to do with her and probably moved on by now. While she was laid up in bed with swollen ankles and an aching heart that wouldn't cease.

The bad thing about being laid up all the time was how much time it left her to think. Arwen would often come by to sit and read to her, talk and check up on her. Or the twins Elladan and Elrohir would come to tell her jokes and attempt to make her laugh. And Bella appreciated their efforts and while they worked sometimes other times she just couldn't stop the aching in her chest. And there were the days when Elrond and his children were busy and those were the days her thoughts were loudest.

Before the gold sickness had claimed not only her lover but her friends as well, Bella had entertained thoughts of staying in the mountain. Or perhaps taking Dori back to the Shire and settling down there. But that was before the sickness. Now her courting braid was gone from her hair, cut by Nori who had said she didn't deserve to wear the Ri family name. Dori and Ori had stood back and watched as Bella begged them to help. She honestly thought in that moment she was going to die. As Nori held the knife to her throat and gazed at her with steely eyes, she thought death was moments away. But then he lifted the knife and sliced her courting braid. And somehow that was worse.

She could remember talking to Dori about what was attractive to dwarves. And Dori had admitted that she considered rather attractive by their standards. Bella was sure that she had moved on by now. Probably with some other rare dwarrowdam if she hadn't settled down with a male dwarf. It was a selfish hope but Bella hoped that she had married her craft. She hoped for that a lot as she fingered the area where her courting braid used to sit. She hoped they were all doing well. She hoped that with all her heart. And as she lies in bed, trying in vain to fall asleep as the baby rolls and stretches she hopes that this fool of a Took can be somewhat of a decent mother.

* * *

><p>Bella's in the gardens, her arms cradled around her swollen stomach as she stares at the flowers. Her ankles and feet are aching, her stomach rolling with nausea. Arwen sits beside her with a book spread across her lap.<p>

"Must we practice this now?" Bella groans and Arwen chuckles warmly.

"You wanted to brush up on your Elvish." Arwen reminds her and Bella sighs.

"Yes but not when this child decided they wished to sit on my bladder. I swear they've made it a game." She stands up on wobbly feet and begins to follow Arwen towards the bathroom. They make it halfway inside before they're greeted by the sight of Elladan and Elrohir who are hunched over in laughter.

"I didn't know someone could get so red." Elladan wheezes and Elrohir nods.

"I didn't either. Oh Eru, Bella you should have seen him!" Elrohir snorts and the two women share a confused look.

"I should have seen who?" Bella asks.

"The dwarf king's face," Bella doesn't hear the rest of Elrohir's speech as the room begins to spin and she pitches forward. The last thing she hears is Arwen calling her name and Elladan reaching to catch her as everything goes black.

When Bella awakens she's in the healing ward and finds herself staring up at Elrond's scowling face. Her heads throbbing and she groans as she remembers just what caused this particular headache.

"They're here then? Do they know?" She croaks.

"Yes, they are here. They were on their way to the Shire it seems and stopped here for some rest. I've not yet told them of your—condition. But they know you're here." Bella groans and covers her eyes. From outside the room she hears a thick brogue demand to know what exactly these damn weed eaters are doing to her. Bofur. Her stomach lurches and Bella claps a hand over her mouth.

"I'll have Arwen make you some tea to settle your stomach." Elrond says and hands her a bucket. Bella promptly empties the contents of her stomach and lets out a shuddery sigh as her head falls back onto the pillow.

"What shall I do about the dwarves?" Elrond asks, pausing at the doorway.

"I want Arwen or one of the twins to be with me at all times and only one of them at a time please." Elrond nods and closes the door behind him. Outside the door come the disgruntled voices of the dwarves mingled with Elrond's calm voice. He's soon replaced by his daughter who settles down by Bella with a cup of tea. It tastes like sawdust in her mouth as the door opens and the corner of a floppy eared hat comes around the doorway.

"Hello Bofur." Bella tugs the blanket up higher over her stomach. The hatted dwarf closes the door quickly though Bella still sees a couple of the dwarves attempting to peer in as he turns to face her. His usual jovial smile in his place albeit somewhat strained as he stares at her.

"Gave us a fright back there ye did. Don't think I've seen you faint since I mentioned a furnace with wings." Bofur jokes.

"The last time you saw me faint was shortly after Thorin banished me from the mountain and Nori cut my braid from my hair." Bofur's face falls at Bella's tone. Her grip on the blankets tightens and she winces at the venom in her tone.

"Aye it was." Bofur clears his throat and looks towards the door. Arwen stares hard at him, her eyes narrowed.

"Perhaps you should go." Arwen says. It's not a suggestion and Bofur nods, his head downcast as he steps out of the room. Bella sighs and lets her head fall back onto the pillow.

"I can send them away." Arwen reminds her gently and Bella shakes her head.

"No, no it's fine. A Took wouldn't run from this. Even a fool of a Took would face this down." Arwen gives her sweaty hand a squeeze as the door opens once more. None of the dwarves following Bofur fare much better. The sight of Thorin sends Bella into such a panic that she hyperventilates until Arwen stands and ushers him out of the room.

"Miss Bella?" Bella winces at the small voice. Ori sticks his head into the room, wincing as he sees Arwen's glare.

"I—I'm—are you okay?" Ori asks.

"Do I seem okay?" Bella asks and the scribe winces.

"No well not exactly." A heavy silence settles over the room as Ori fiddles with his gloves. "You cut your hair." Ori says finally and Bella's hand flies to her now short curls.

"Indeed I did." Bella agrees dryly.

"Dori will still like it I'm sure." Ori begins and Bella cuts him off with a glare.

"She has no say in what I look like, what I do with myself. Nor do you or your brother. You all gave up your right as my family when you stood by as Nori put that knife to my throat." Bella throws the blankets back and rises from the bed on unsteady feet. She doesn't notice how his eyes fly to her stomach or the door opening.

"She just stood there. All of you stood there while Thorin threatened to kill me. You are not my friends. Not my family. You all made it very clear that day. I did my duty and you all owe me nothing and I am nothing to you." She pushes past Ori and steps into the hallway. The dwarves all mutter and step aside, their eyes wide as Bella shoves past them. She's stopped by Nori who stares down at her with narrowed eyes.

"Move aside master dwarf." Arwen says and puts herself between Nori and Bella.

"Nori. Just go please." Dori whispers. Bella lifts her head but doesn't turn to look at the dwarrowdam. Nori steps aside, his eyes still narrowed as Arwen escorts Bella away.

She doesn't see the dwarves for the rest of the day. She confines herself to her room where she tries in vain to ignore her throbbing head. Arwen mothers her for a little bit, giving her some horrid smelling tea that she promises will help her head and telling Bella to get some sleep before she finally leaves.

* * *

><p>Bella <em>does <em>manage to get some sleep and wakes up to a light knocking on the door. She rises from the bed bleary eyed and grumbling as she stumbles for the door.

"I'm coming, I'm coming. Hold on." Bella mutters as she wrenches the door open. She nearly chokes as she opens the door. Dori stands there with her hands folded behind her back, her eyes downcast.

"Are you going to come in?" Bella asks and Dori lifts her eyes a fraction of an inch.

"I've not been invited in." Dori shrugs.

"Still one for manners I see." Bella ushers her in and the two stare at each other, shuffling their feet uncomfortably.

"You seem comfortable here." Dori finally says and looks around the room. "That elf maid seems to take good care of you."

"Arwen and I are quite close, yes." Bella agrees and Dori's shoulders stiffen ever so slightly.

"So is she the one who cut your hair? Or did your husband do that? I didn't take you as one to fancy elves." Dori's tone is bitter as she stares at Bella's hair.

"I cut them myself. After all dwarves only cut their hair when they've been dishonored and that day seemed as good as any when Thorin banished me didn't it?" Both of them wince and look away.

"That was uncalled for on my part and I apologize." Dori says softly.

"It was uncalled for on my part as well. I did cut my hair though—it was a mess of blood and knots and tangles after the battle. And there was no way around it." She shrugs and pretends not to see the hurt that flashes through Dori's eyes.

"So that elf maiden—you said her name is Arwen? Are you two courting now then?"

"What Arwen and I have is purely platonic." Dori barely nods and Bella notices with a sudden discomfort that her eyes flicker towards her stomach and back up to her face.

"So you're married then now?" Dori asks in a tight voice and Bella sighs. She sits on the edge of the bed and pats the spot next to her.

"You'll want to sit down. No don't give me that look Dori. And please don't be cross with me for what I'm about to tell you." Bella sighs.

"I'm not married to a man or woman. I was true to my word when I said that I'd been with others before I met you. And I'm being true to my word now when I tell you that I'm with child. And it's yours."

"That's not funny." Dori says sharply. Her hands are on her hips, her eyes narrowed.

"I'm not joking with you. I would never joke about this with you." Bella glares at her.

"We're both women—that's quite impossible for you to be pregnant." Dori's lips are pursed and she looks ready to turn and run out of the room.

"Quite impossible were it not for the Took in our dear Bella Baggins." The door opens and in steps Gandalf, a soft smile on his face as he bows his head.

"I'm sorry for interrupting. But I was just passing through and thought that Bella could use some help with this explanation."

"What does her being a Took having anything to do with being pregnant?" Dori demands.

"One of Bella's Took relatives married a fairy. So in the Took line it's been known for some males to bear a child with another male. And while it's rarer sometimes females bear a child with another female." Dori looks back and forth between the two and Bella notices with rising horror that the bloods draining from Dori's face.

"Oh. Oh. Mister Gandalf could you perhaps get me some tea?" Dori asks and sinks unsteadily into a chair.

"I will go get you some tea and leave you two alone to talk." Gandalf smiles at the two women as he leaves.

"Blasted wizard. Glad to know he's good for something even if it is meddling." Bella mutters as a groan comes from Dori. She sits with her head between her knees and tugs on her braids, face a ghastly ashen color.

"Should I get Óin?" Bella asks concernedly and prepares to stand only to be waved back down by Dori.

"No, Mahal no. The last thing I need is the entire company bursting in and demanding answers from us." Dori takes a long breath and sits up.

"I found out when I reached Beorn's. He made a comment that I smelled like myself but one of my companions—the female one he said. I asked what he meant and he smiled at me and said: why little bunny you're carrying a child. That's when I fainted."

"Then after you left Beorn's you ended up staying here in Rivendell. May I ask why?"

"Well I don't know much about dwarven pregnancies and didn't want to risk giving birth on the road. So I decided it would be better to stay here where I could have food, rest and healers on hand to monitor me and..." She trails off.

"You don't want it?" Dori asks.

"I don't know what I want to be honest." Bella sighs and feels the prick of oncoming tears.

"I want the Shire. I want the mountain. I never wanted the battle to happen. I don't want my ankles to be swollen all the time or my breasts to be so tender and make me feel like screaming when I put on clothes." Dori lets out a snort and Bella pauses as she realizes what she just said.

"Oh. Oh dear." Bella lifts a hand to her flushing face and falls back onto the pillows with a sigh.

"Should I go?" Dori asks.

"If you don't mind—I don't mean to be rude. But I'm terribly tired and this days been exhausting." Dori stands up and the two share small nods as she heads for the door.

"What should I tell the others?" Dori asks as she reaches the door.

"The truth. Goodnight Dori." Bella says simply.

* * *

><p>Gandalf is waiting outside the door for Dori, puffing on his pipe and holding a cup of tea out towards her. She accepts it with a shaky hand and takes a long sip.<p>

"Won't you walk with me Dori?" Gandalf asks and Dori mutely nods, not trusting her voice as she follows the wizard.

"Bella is quite hurt over what happened." Gandalf says casually as they walk down the hallway. Dori winces as she remembers the way Bella backed away from Nori, the fear in her eyes as she cradled her stomach. The day of her banishment that fear had been there too Dori realizes. But she'd been too blind at the time to see it. All she can manage it a shaky nod.

"For a while Lord Elrond was quite worried that she would lose the baby." This makes Dori freeze. Gandalf doesn't seem to notice and continues walking, puffing on his pipe contently.

"When he told her that the possibilities of a miscarriage were high Bella only laid there in the bed and asked him what the point was. Of raising a child when the other parent had no idea, had no want for the child, for Bella. And then she cried and called herself a selfish hobbit. I was tempted to march back to the mountains that day and beat some sense into that king of yours."

"Is it okay now?" Dori croaks.

"The baby is alive and we estimate it will be born in five months more or less. But I don't believe Bella is alive. She eats and sleeps. She gets up and dresses. She goes about her day like any hobbit woman would who's with child. But I don't see her truly living. If you want to see your one live Dori then I suggest you all fix the mess you made." And with that he disappears around a corner, leaving Dori to face her companions who all sit around a table sulking into their drinks.

Ori's the first one to notice his sister and looks at her with eager, hopeful eyes as he asks how Bella's feeling. Dori numbly goes over and sits down between him and Fili.

"Bella is fine," Her answers met with sighs of relief and cheers. "And she is with child." The table dribbles down to silence as the other dwarves all gape at her.

"But you and her are both women." Fili finally manages.

"Did she take a husband?" Balin asks and the table builds in volume as everyone begins to toss in their two cents. It's all ended by Nori who snorts, shaking his head as he picks at his nails with one his daggers.

"Do you have something you wish to say Nori?" His sister hisses and the thief raises his eyes a fraction of an inch.

"I bet she did more than take herself a husband. I bet she slept with one of our lovely companions here." Dori's hands curl into fists and the table shifts uncomfortably at Nori's words.

"Anyone want to own up to it? Dwalin? Tell me guardsman was it during one of your night watches that the little thing shag you into oblivion. Or how about you Kili? Did she make you feel good about that baby beard of yours? Your hobbit, my dear sister never loved you or any one of us. And that's that." Nori says and turns to walk away. Dori stands up sharply and stalks after Nori. She barely feels Ori's hand graze her arm and beg her to sit down. She's doesn't notice anything but Nori.

She grabs hold of his arm and drags him into a room, slamming the door behind them. The doorframe splinters but she doesn't notice as she takes shaky breaths, her fists clenching and unclenching. Ori stands behind her, looking back and forth between the siblings fearfully as Nori gazes at Dori smugly.

"You've never liked Bella for which I will never understand Nori. That hobbit has not done a thing wrong to you." Dori hisses.

"What does she have to offer you Dori?" Nori raises a braided eyebrow. "What a little hole in the ground? A garden and some food? Or some tea? She has _nothing_ to offer you."

"I had nothing to offer her. We were marching her towards her death. We were marching her into a dragon's lair and I had nothing to give her. But the promise that I loved her. And that she was the one to hold my heart. And that more than enough for Bella."

"When there wasn't enough food in Mirkwood to go around, Bella gave up some of her rations to go to Ori. She gave me some of her water. And there was a night I know you were out of pipe weed she slipped you some of hers."

"That is nothing but the acts of kindness that come from travelling with some for long periods of time Dori." Nori shrugs.

"What do I have to do to make you realize she has the world to offer me?" Dori shouts. Ori steps beside his sister and clears his throat, his eyes hard as his siblings look at him.

"During the battle, towards the very end I fell down. I couldn't defend myself and there was someone there keeping the orcs and goblins away from me. I thought I was hallucinating and then I heard Bella screaming the eagles are coming." Nori's eyes widen and he looks stricken at Ori's words.

"Was it not for Bella then I would be dead Nori. And maybe she doesn't have a lot to offer to Dori in your eyes. But we can't see things from Dori's point of view." He says. Nori's silent as he stalks past them and out of the room. Dori sinks to the floor with a sigh and finally allows the months of repressed anger, frustration, loneliness and depression to come out. She buries her head into her knees and sobs, Ori's arm around her shaking shoulders.

* * *

><p>When Bella awakes the next morning she's aware of two things. There's a braid resting on her pillow and someone sitting in the corner of her room. She reaches for Sting but stops as she sees the person lift a hand.<p>

"Peace Bella," Nori sighs. "I've come to apologize." Bella holds up the braid and realizes that Nori's missing one from his intricate beard.

"I'm listening." She says and lies back down on her pillow.

"To threaten a woman in our culture, I should shear my beard for what I did and be exiled. I'd accept whatever punishment you gave you me but I don't know if there's a worse one than what I received last night." Bella gets the feeling that she's supposed to listen so she lies silent.

"I saw Dori cry last night. She doesn't cry a lot. When Ori was born she cried. And when we were injured in battle she cried. When she found out that you left she cried again. "

"We fought last night and—when I've seen her cry before it's only been for a few minutes and then she composes herself. She cried for over an hour last night and wouldn't look at me this morning."

"Did Gandalf explain things to everyone?" Bella asks and Nori winces.

"Aye he did. I had a lovely visual of you and my sister doing all sorts of things that caused this pregnancy."

"Come here Nori." Bella says and the thief crosses the room with his head hung low. She holds out her arms and he helps her sit up. Nori doesn't even try to hide it as he stares at her swollen stomach.

"I will forgive you in due time. But there are some things I wish you to do." Nori mutely nods and Bella opens up her arms. The hug is a careful one, Nori keeping his distance between them. When Bella lets him go she takes a long breath and lays back down, her arms crossed over stomach.

"Now you are going to sit here beside me. And I am going to tell you of each and every time your sister and I had an encounter that could have possibly caused this encounter." Bella's smile is a malicious one as Nori pulls up a chair with a grimace. By the end of it Nori's pale and running for the bathroom as Bella laughs from her spot in the bed.

Bella's never alone with a member of the company. Arwen, Elrond or Gandalf are always hovering in the background. Whether she's in the library with Ori and the young Estel, the training grounds with Dwalin and the princes or simply sharing tea with Dori someone's always in the background. She doesn't mind it.

When they're in the gardens together Dori allows Bella to rest her feet in her lap and she massages the swollen ankles. Bella practically melts at each touch, her limbs turning to jelly as she sighs.

"All better my dear?" Dori asks one afternoon then winces as she realizes that she's tacked on an endearment.

"A little big higher," Bella pleads and Dori creeps towards her calf. "Higher than that." She continues to plead: higher, higher until Dori's hand rests on her thigh.

"I don't think I can go any higher than that." Dori says, her cheeks stained pink as Bella gives her a mischievous smile.

"Oh then what about that night at Beorn's? You managed to get," She's cut off by Dori kissing her and tugging on the laces of her trousers.

Nori, Dwalin and the princes could be heard screeching with disgust later as they ran from the gardens, hands clapped over their eyes. Dori paid them no mind from her spot between Bella's thighs. Their dinner went cold that night but the two didn't mind as Bella grabbed a plate of strawberries and chocolate, demanding that Dori give her dessert immediately please.

By the time Bella goes into labor everyone has gotten a glimpse of the couple at least once and has had a bit more than enough to last them a lifetime. So when they hear the shriek from Bella nobody wants to go running towards the sound. Until Dori screams that someone needs to get Arwen and Elrond immediately. This sends the dwarves scattering for help and stumbling over each as they shout out suggestions to the couple.

It would be hours later when the company finally spilled into the room where Bella and Dori both fawned over the bundle held in Bella's arms. A baby girl with a headful of sandy blonde curls sleeps peacefully in her mother's arms. The company all smile fondly at the baby, their eyes shining as Bella announces that Melora has Dori's eyes and the stubborn dwarvish pride.

"Nori. There's one thing I want you to do for me." Dori says and wraps an arm around her brother's shoulder.

"What's that?" Nori asks distractedly as he gazes at his niece.

"Change her diaper." Dori says and hands over Melora. Nori shrugs and walks off with his niece in his arms and a fresh diaper in hand. Dori and Bella sit back and listen as Nori's panicked voice reaches them.

"It's black. Why is it black? Dori get in here." Nori sticks his head into the room and waves frantically then pauses, his face twisting as he disappears back into the room. "Oh, she just peed on me." The two women simply laugh and gently bump their foreheads together, courting braids brushing as they lean forward for a kiss.

* * *

><p>Someone help me. I have this insatiable need for femslash that refuses to be fixed. This was my first time writing fpreg and I expected it to be about 1,000 words. Somewhere around there. Then it got really out of hand and Dori and Bilbo demanded to be 4,000+ words.<p>

I got this idea after listening to a Fool to Believe from Moulin Rouge. And it would have been out sooner but I've been having finals and been awful about uploading things here. And it is normal for a newborn baby's first bowel movements to be black in color.


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